


Deserving of Love

by FandomStar



Series: Tumblr Requests [8]
Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 05, Self-Hatred, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 14:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19252729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomStar/pseuds/FandomStar
Summary: Vir is in a very bad place after the Shadow War and doesn't think he deserves his relationship with Lennier.





	Deserving of Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TallysGreatestFan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TallysGreatestFan/gifts).



> 176\. “You deserve so much better.”  
> This is so sad and angsty!!! I knew it would be angsty, but I didn’t think it would be like this!!! I hope you like it, despite the slightly odd ending (I couldn’t figure out how to end it)! Anyway, let the Vir/Lennier angst commence!

“You deserve so much better.”

They were in the Zen Gardens when those words came out of Vir’s mouth, sitting side by side on a bench. When they needed or wanted some uninterrupted time together, Vir and Lennier would go there. It was peaceful, and quiet, and nobody bothered anyone in the Gardens. It was what they needed after everything.

The Shadow War had been and gone. It had left everyone shaken and at least a little damaged. But it seemed to have left Vir more broken than most. It hadn’t taken Lennier long to figure out that his partner’s experiences on Centauri Prime prior to the battles had left him very disturbed. Vir never spoke about it. Not to Lennier, and probably not anyone else. However, Lennier knew that what Vir had witnessed and been powerless to stop had left him with psychological scars at least equal to the physical scarring he’d sustained when he’d been fighting.

“What do you mean?” Lennier asked, softly, frowning at Vir’s statement.

The Centauri wouldn’t meet Lennier’s eyes, but even from the profile view, Lennier could tell that Vir had got himself upset, somehow.

“Vir?” he whispered, carefully placing a hand on Vir’s leg. “What’s wrong?”

“Me.” 

Lennier was taken aback by how quickly and how easily Vir gave his answer. Speechless, he stared at Vir for a moment. Sadly, he wondered where the Vir he’d known before all of this was - the Vir that went around with a bright, genuine smile on his face, no matter what. Lennier knew the answer to that, though. That Vir was still wandering around somewhere on the station, left behind when his body left for Centauri Prime.

“Please don’t say that. There is nothing wrong with you, Vir,” Lennier told Vir, firmly, taking his partner’s hand and rubbing his knuckles to try and soothe him. “There is nothing wrong with you.”

“You wouldn’t say that,” Vir insisted. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew what was haunting me. You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I’d done.”

“I would be,” Lennier assured him. “You need to understand that I would, Vir. I am saying it because I don’t care what it was that you did. You did it because we were at war. I know that we all did things that we never would have done under different circumstances because we were at war. That includes you, and it includes me, because none of us came out of this unscathed. I helped to kill people. It… it weighs on my mind, constantly. I… I don’t know if I can help you. But… I am here to support you.”

Finally - finally - Vir looked at Lennier, his deep, brown eyes still carrying the haunted look that they’d rarely lost as of late.

“Why?” he asked, simply, sounding very small and very lost.

“Because I love you, Vir,” Lennier replied, just as simply, briefly pressing his lips to Vir’s hand. “I love you too much to let you go or let you be alone.”

After so much time, Vir let himself relax, and rested his head in the crook of Lennier’s neck. Understanding, Lennier wrapped his arms around the fragile Centauri, feeling tears on his neck as Vir let himself cry.

“I love you, too,” he managed to hoarsely whisper after a while. “But… you shouldn’t have to put up with… with all of this.”

As he rubbed Vir’s back, Lennier carefully pressed his lips to the side of Vir’s head.

“Perhaps. But I want to,” he said. “Because that is what people do when they are in love with someone.”


End file.
